[He thinks that's important to say; he thinks Carlisle should, despite both their nerves, but it's still his choice. Feeling pressured into it won't help.]
But um, I don't think it'll be as bad as you're expecting. And it'll, you know, take a lot of stress off you in the future.
[That said--]
Do you um, want to sit down and chill for a little bit before, though? So you're not like... As nervous.
[He's not specifically concerned about practicing while Carlisle's nervous, he just thinks the less stress on Carlisle the better.]
Delaying this will not ease my soul any. It does not make it any less of a sin in the eye of my goddess, nor does it somehow make it acceptable for me to bend the will of another beneath my own. And what if this goes wrong somehow? What if it only gets worse?
[So he's got religious beliefs and his own paranoia working against him. No wonder he's been putting this off.]
[Chris is quiet a few seconds, considering all of that; he still thinks the idea of it being a sin is kind of ridiculous, especially knowing what he does of Carlisle's world, but it isn't his job to judge that and it certainly wouldn't help. So instead he shrugs, offering another small smile.]
Okay, well, I guess uh... I guess it's best to just, see it's going to be fine and nothing's going to go wrong or get worse.
Also um, I volunteered, so don't like... Feel guilty or anything. It's not like you're just messing with someone who has no idea because you feel like it.
[Maybe remembering that would help, though Chris doubts it'd be enough to actually alleviate that concern.]
So um... How do you want to do this? Is there something I should um, do or not do or...?
[He still sounds calm and even, although he sticks his hands on his pockets preemptively as he nerves start kicking up a little again; he's still not at all concerned about Carlisle doing anything intentionally, but he is slightly more anxious over the fact that he doesn't seem to know at all where to start. But that's the point of all this, right? So it'll be fine.]
I'm uh, sure I have paper around or something that could be used for writing something or just folding it or whatever. Or laundry to move.
[He's pretty sure there's laundry in one of the machines, anyway. Maybe Emily got it.]
[Chris sounds far calmer than Carlisle does, but he doesn't have the weight of a potential transgression against his goddess weighing him down.
He takes a deep breath, cycling it through him; he can feel tension against the new set of scars against his chest, and wishes for a moment that he'd just bothered to heal them all the way. Of course, he hadn't the energy at the time, and wants to save what energy he has now for this experiment. Perhaps he should have done this while weakened, he considers for a moment. Then there may be less potential for things to go wrong.
Right. Simple tasks.]
Okay. How about, um. Desth, I don't know if I can do this. It- it's often triggered by my fear, but it's not as though you'll be threatening me within an inch of my life at any point, now is it?
[Chris manages a small grin, despite the subject and situation, because--]
What, I'm not naturally terrifying?
[He's well aware he may be the least intimidating person ever.]
But I mean... Maybe it's best if you're having to figure out how to use it when you're not scared, since controlling it's the problem right? So if you're having to like, actively think about how to turn it on that's probably a good thing.
[He pauses a moment.]
Maybe um... Focus on how you feel when it normally goes off? Don't like, psych yourself into a panic or anything, but you know.
[Low levels of memory-induced anxiety might work, especially with how stressed out Carlisle already seems to be.]
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no subject
[He thinks that's important to say; he thinks Carlisle should, despite both their nerves, but it's still his choice. Feeling pressured into it won't help.]
But um, I don't think it'll be as bad as you're expecting. And it'll, you know, take a lot of stress off you in the future.
[That said--]
Do you um, want to sit down and chill for a little bit before, though? So you're not like... As nervous.
[He's not specifically concerned about practicing while Carlisle's nervous, he just thinks the less stress on Carlisle the better.]
no subject
Delaying this will not ease my soul any. It does not make it any less of a sin in the eye of my goddess, nor does it somehow make it acceptable for me to bend the will of another beneath my own. And what if this goes wrong somehow? What if it only gets worse?
[So he's got religious beliefs and his own paranoia working against him. No wonder he's been putting this off.]
no subject
Okay, well, I guess uh... I guess it's best to just, see it's going to be fine and nothing's going to go wrong or get worse.
Also um, I volunteered, so don't like... Feel guilty or anything. It's not like you're just messing with someone who has no idea because you feel like it.
[Maybe remembering that would help, though Chris doubts it'd be enough to actually alleviate that concern.]
So um... How do you want to do this? Is there something I should um, do or not do or...?
no subject
I suppose I should command you to do simple tasks? I'm... not entirely sure.
no subject
[He still sounds calm and even, although he sticks his hands on his pockets preemptively as he nerves start kicking up a little again; he's still not at all concerned about Carlisle doing anything intentionally, but he is slightly more anxious over the fact that he doesn't seem to know at all where to start. But that's the point of all this, right? So it'll be fine.]
I'm uh, sure I have paper around or something that could be used for writing something or just folding it or whatever. Or laundry to move.
[He's pretty sure there's laundry in one of the machines, anyway. Maybe Emily got it.]
no subject
He takes a deep breath, cycling it through him; he can feel tension against the new set of scars against his chest, and wishes for a moment that he'd just bothered to heal them all the way. Of course, he hadn't the energy at the time, and wants to save what energy he has now for this experiment. Perhaps he should have done this while weakened, he considers for a moment. Then there may be less potential for things to go wrong.
Right. Simple tasks.]
Okay. How about, um. Desth, I don't know if I can do this. It- it's often triggered by my fear, but it's not as though you'll be threatening me within an inch of my life at any point, now is it?
[Ah. Not unless he's compelled to do so.]
no subject
What, I'm not naturally terrifying?
[He's well aware he may be the least intimidating person ever.]
But I mean... Maybe it's best if you're having to figure out how to use it when you're not scared, since controlling it's the problem right? So if you're having to like, actively think about how to turn it on that's probably a good thing.
[He pauses a moment.]
Maybe um... Focus on how you feel when it normally goes off? Don't like, psych yourself into a panic or anything, but you know.
[Low levels of memory-induced anxiety might work, especially with how stressed out Carlisle already seems to be.]