Yeah. He and Ashley both disappeared within like two weeks of each other.
[But even though Chris loves Ashley and not having her around is tough, it's different with Josh. Chris will see Ashley again at home, but Josh is really gone.]
[Or constant crushing sadness, but yes. And her question is met by a long delay in which he tries to figure out what to tell her before realizing the pause itself makes the answer pretty clear and she'd doubtlessly see through the lie.
So he's honest instead, even though it's so difficult to say it.]
He didn't make it through what happened at home.
[And there's another delay, but shorter this time as he adds--]
When he was here it was before everything happened, for him. He didn't know.
[And Chris still isn't sure if it had been the right thing to do not to tell him, but he wants to think it was.]
[ she'd asked because she wasn't sure and his pause does make it obvious. it hurts to know that he isn't just gone from her daily life but that he's gone now.
weirdly, this is an area Cash has some experience in. ]
That's what I would have wanted. when I was at the hotel, they didn't tell me I was dead. eventually I found out and I completely lost it. I was mad they lied but worst than being lied to was having to deal with the fact that I was dead. it really fucks you up.
[That reassures him a little, at least about the decision regarding Josh, even though he and Emily have decided to do the opposite about Hannah. He has a feeling this is one of those things where there's no real right choice.]
I'm really sorry you had to deal with that at all.
Yeah. A lot weirder than I ever thought it could be.
[And he's not a huge fan of that, honestly. He knows now that the normalcy he enjoyed most of his life wasn't truly real, considering things like wendigos exist at home and places like Hadriel exist at all, but ignorance is bliss and all that.]
Guess we have to make a new normal. Whatever that means.
[ she wonders what it would be like to have a normal like Chris is used to, if she could expect life to be ordinary most days instead of varying levels of horrifying. ]
[He really wishes he could go back to it, but he knows that even if--when--he goes home there will never be the same sort of 'normal' ever again. That's more difficult to accept than dealing with the sort of things that happen here is.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ her stomach twists. it doesn't seem fair. ]
Fuck.
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[But even though Chris loves Ashley and not having her around is tough, it's different with Josh. Chris will see Ashley again at home, but Josh is really gone.]
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This is really shitty.
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[He really does appreciate the sentiment.]
Yeah, it sucks. Wouldn't be this place if it didn't, right?
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[ speaking of: ]
Is he ok at home?
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So he's honest instead, even though it's so difficult to say it.]
He didn't make it through what happened at home.
[And there's another delay, but shorter this time as he adds--]
When he was here it was before everything happened, for him. He didn't know.
[And Chris still isn't sure if it had been the right thing to do not to tell him, but he wants to think it was.]
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weirdly, this is an area Cash has some experience in. ]
That's what I would have wanted. when I was at the hotel, they didn't tell me I was dead. eventually I found out and I completely lost it. I was mad they lied but worst than being lied to was having to deal with the fact that I was dead. it really fucks you up.
he seemed happy here. Considering.
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I'm really sorry you had to deal with that at all.
But thanks for telling me. It really does help.
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Life is weird, huh?
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[And he's not a huge fan of that, honestly. He knows now that the normalcy he enjoyed most of his life wasn't truly real, considering things like wendigos exist at home and places like Hadriel exist at all, but ignorance is bliss and all that.]
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[ she wonders what it would be like to have a normal like Chris is used to, if she could expect life to be ordinary most days instead of varying levels of horrifying. ]
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[He really wishes he could go back to it, but he knows that even if--when--he goes home there will never be the same sort of 'normal' ever again. That's more difficult to accept than dealing with the sort of things that happen here is.]